"I'm sorry."
Two simple words we teach our children to use when they make a mistake. The implication being those two words will make it all better.
"I'm sorry."
Make sure you say it whenever you hurt someone's feelings, or break a toy. Say, "I'm sorry" if you bump into them and knock them down.
"I'm sorry."
Anytime you need to excuse your actions, make sure you say these two magic words.
After a while, those two words no longer have meaning. They no longer make things better and they no longer excuse your mistakes.
We should be teaching our children to apologize rather than say, "I'm sorry." Because these two words ring hollow and empty.
Apologizing means feeling remorse, sadness, even shame because of your actions. When you make a mistake, a true apology will express your feelings and attempt to make amends. It costs nothing to say the words, "I'm sorry."
They are too simple, too easy, too empty to hold meaning and sooth hurts.
I am frustrated trying to teach my children the difference between an empty phrase and true emotion. My daughter says, "I'm sorry," when she leaves dirty dishes in the living room or her dirty clothes on the bathroom floor.
The next day, she does it again.
But she says, "I'm sorry," so all is forgiven.
The next day, she does it again.
The cycle does not end, and I'm not sure how to get the message through. My voice gets louder and my words get firmer. And she replies, "I'm sorry."
She doesn't know how to apologize. She only knows how to say, "I'm sorry."
If I give myself time to think instead of react, I realize my frustration stems from the sound of empty sorries echoing through her past.
Mom got drunk again.
"I'm sorry."
Mom forgot to buy winter coats this year.
"I'm sorry."
Mom couldn't wake up early enough to feed you breakfast.
"I'm sorry."
If "I'm sorry" was supposed to be powerful enough to fix those mistakes, then why isn't it good enough when my daughter says it because she left the water jug on the counter instead of putting it in the refrigerator?
Her infractions are minor compared to the wrongs she's experienced, but they are the foundation for learning what it means to truly apologize for our actions and make the effort to change our behavior.
When I seem to be overreacting to the situation in front of me, it's because I've been under-reacting to the simple lessons that have yet to be taught.
I'm sorry for my own short-comings.
I am trying to do better.
Use the times she says "I'm sorry" as a learning experience for both of you. This journey that you both are on is a joint journey, together. She for learning how to trust adults, and you for learning how to teach. Try asking her what she is saying "I'm sorry" for. You just might be surprised at how "lost in translation " what she thinks is compared to what you think. The more you two work together, the more the other children will follow suit. Actions sometimes work better than any verbal explanation have. Remember though, this is all a learning experience for everyone involved, there is no manual available.
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